Steve Jobs

Eva Longoria

Javier Bardem

Andy Serkis

Artist's interpretation of what happened when Andy Serkis learned of the new Godzilla reboot in development.

Steve Jobs

Jennifer Hudson

I had a storyboard job in which the client was very keen that I capture Jennifer Hudson accurately. After a lot of trial and error--emphasis on error--I just put the boards aside and started doing free-form studies of her, in the hope that some kind of breakthrough would occur. Long story short, I pretty much wanted to throw myself in front of a bus after completing each one of these. I can see improvement, but it's agonizingly slow.

Rachel Uchitel

This pic on Tyler made me want to do a tribute to Tiger Woods' mistress and all her many fine sexy petrochemical engineering modifications.

The Doddfather

Michael Jackson

So this postumous MJ concert/rehearsal/whatever film is coming out. Even the title, "This is It", sounds a bit like an apology.

I'd like to play pop-culture psychic for a moment if I may. I'm guessing Michael wasn't really all that capable of singing or dancing near the end of his life. Therefore the handlers probably gave him less-than-dazzling choreography appropriate to a man in his condition, and intended to pad out the stage show with a lot of filler. They're pumping the advance sales of this film by hyping it as a limited engagement, because word of mouth is going to be blistering. Brace yourself for the Phantom Menace of concert films. It's probably not going to be a catastrophe on the order of the caricature I just drew, but still. Not pretty.

Harvey Pekar

A "Harvey Head" I contributed to the Pekar Project's 70th birthday celebration.

Dr. Phil

Ugh. Well they can't all be gems folks. I'd rather not even post this, but I'm hoping that the humiliation motivates me to do better in the future. If I don't have my nose rubbed in it I WON'T LEARN!!!

Bill Goldberg

A character study in preparation for a storyboard job for a Speed Network show. Not WWE-related, oddly enough, though it was sandwiched in between two WWE gigs. Go figure.

Megan Fox in "Jennifer's Body"

So are we all still in love with Megan Fox, or are we deep into the backlash yet? I can't keep track. A couple of months ago all I read was nice things about her, but now apparently everybody hates her. Somehow over the summer she went from being universally adored to being some kind of enemy of the human race.

We males supposedly see attractive women only as sex objects, but that's clearly not true. Eventually we look past that to appreciate a woman's character. Specifically, our feelings of attraction to a famous woman we're never going to meet can result in feelings of shame and inadequacy, which then have to be medicated with scorn and derision. So in a short period of time we go from, "Dude, that Megan Fox is so hot" to "Dude, that Megan Fox is a total bitch".

What complex, enigmatic creatures we are!

Time: 1 hr.

Sen. Max Baucus

Stacy London

A warm-up study for a storyboard job. The fact that I'm storyboarding TLC stars should tell you that I'm still pretty far from getting that call from Hollywood. Nobody's putting Stacy London in an action movie anytime soon. 

At least this time they gave me a celebrity that I'm actually familiar with. This is because I used to take the jetBlue red-eye from NYC to Denver a lot, and the onboard TV pickings at that time of night were pretty grim. it was either "What Not To Wear", or the History Channel's epic 57-part series, "Can We Think Of Another Fucking Thing To Say About World War II."

Michele Bachmann

The Huffington Post loves to run photos of Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN). Invariably those photos are of her gesticulating and making a crazy face, and are always coupled with some kind of out-of-context batshit-sounding quote. Because their job is to make Republicans look bad, they love to portray Bachmann as an abject loon, wildly unhinged, with no sense of shame or personal limits. But see, here's the thing, those all happen to be qualities that I find tremendously appealing in a... candidate. Yeah. Yeah, "candidate", let's go with that.

While I'm no fan of Sarah Palin, I can imagine a darkly fascinating scenario where Palin runs in 2012 and picks this woman as her running mate. The combined level of focused, determined wingnut insanity on that ticket would be nearly impossible to resist. If that were to happen I might just end up pulling the lever for the Republicans this time around. And I'm not talking about voting.

Hulk Hogan

I sketched this off the wrestling page in the British Sun. Now I know that wrestling's not everyone's cup of tea, and frankly I only maintain an interest because I occasionally get paid to do so. But I think that one thing everybody can enjoy is self-serving celebrity quotes, and Hogan serves those up.

On wrestling again: "I could go out there and pretty much do almost everything I could do before. I could go out and have fun." He talks about how he'd like a reunion match with Stone Cold--who can't ever wrestle again because of the risk of injury--and basically calls Austin an egomaniac for not doing it. Because, you know, it would be cool for the fans. He then makes a bunch of comments about how TNA is only missing a big enough name on their roster to put them over, but doesn't say who he has in mind.

Wow, this guy must really need money. So to sum up, I guess, Hulk's TV show is over, his wife took everything in the divorce, and his kids are showing no signs of wanting to work for a living. Poor guy.

Conan O'Brien

I thought for a minute this week about jumping on the Michael Jackson memorial bandwagon (or "Jacksploitation", as Bunche calls it). But then I remembered that I intensely disliked MJ for most of the time that I was aware of his existence on the planet, and that his death didn't move me in the slightest.

So, I don't know, here's a drawing of another creepy looking white chick instead.

(if my writing seems a little terse today, it's because the 'o' is shot on my keyboard, and I don't have time to get it fixed, so every time I type anything I have to copy an 'o' to the clipboard and paste them in as I go. Wasn't there something like this in Stephen King's Misery? I can't stop thinking that Cathy Bates is mad at me for something.)

Al & Franni Franken

Maybe it's because of all the scandals in the news lately, but when I saw this picture of the Frankens celebrating his senate win, I thought to myself: this woman's on borrowed time. How long till she and Al are doing that walk of shame because he got caught with an intern.

But the more I think about it, I'd trust Al Franken not to get seduced by power more than just about anyone. This guy started on Saturday Night Live in the seventies. He was going to the after-parties since the Belushi era. If he can get through that and still stay married, what's left? Anything they try to tempt him with on the Hill is going to be child's play to him. He's seen it all and it's probably boring to him at this point. If you were to lock him in a hotel room with a bunch of hookers and blow, he'd probably just start knocking on the door asking how long does he have to be in here, and can you please slide the Times crossword under the door.

Perez Hilton

So this Perez/Will.I.Am story seems pretty open-and-shut to me. The guy was running his mouth and he got hit, end of story. I figure you'd have to be some kind of world-class narcissist to think you can go around using fighting words, and then paint yourself as the innocent victim of a hate crime when it goes bad. Plus he's got a lot of nerve acting like he got gay-bashed when he was the one throwing f-bombs around in the first place. I think it was him gay-bashing the other guy, if you want to get technical about it.

There's only one thing that confuses me about this story, and it goes like this: Wait, this is what Perez Hilton looks like? How hard did he get hit? I mean I realize that he released this picture of himself and his teeny scar in a bid for sympathy. But when I see him making his pouty face all I can think about is how odd-looking he actually is. I don't understand how somebody who looks like this has made himself the terror of the swell set. You mean some of the most beautiful people in the world are sitting around in fear of this guy's pronouncements? He's in no position to insult anyone. He looks like something the Joker would use to scare his kids into eating their vegetables.